We are Powerless.
You know the feeling of wanting something or someone to change? Believing that your nervous system will feel better if only he or she would just act differently or say something differently or just stop doing the things they do that piss you off?
These thoughts make you feel powerless. The reality is that we have no control over much of anything EXCEPT, how we respond to the people, events and circumstances around us.
Sally is a great example of the work it takes to change your beliefs that things around you need to change so you can feel good.
Sally felt powerless in her relationship with her husband and her adult child. Countless years had been spent fighting an inner battle of wanting them to change so that she could feel less anxious. She had expectations of how they should behave, what their relationship with her should look like and what their relationship with each other should look like. Every time these expectations were met, all was right in her world. When they didn’t meet her expectations, she would unravel. Everything in her world would fall apart. Her health declined, her focus and attention were all over the place, she found little joy in her work and in her friendships.
Her self-concept and self-worth was wrapped up in what she wanted her family to be like vs. the reality of the ongoing changing dynamics of her family. She placed her own value as a partner and mother on her husband and daughter. When they were “good”, she was a “good” wife and mother. When they were “bad”, she was a failure.
The anxiety she felt was always present, always dependent on something outside of herself. This is powerlessness.
In coaching we take back our own power. Sally now knows how to stay present in her body, has a keen awareness of how her nervous system shifts depending on outside forces and has the ability to come back to a place of peace and calm.
That is your superpower. Remaining in a state of calm confidence, no matter what is going on outside of yourself. No matter if your partner is someone you sometimes can’t stand to be around, if you think sometimes that your kids must have been raised by aliens. The inner knowing that you are ok. Nothing is permanent and you are not responsible for how other people show up, only for how you show up.
Sally learned how to respond to anxiety provoking people and situations from a place of love, rather than control. This shift helped her reduce her anxiety and increase her joy.
Isn’t that what we all want? To live our lives with freedom, power, and calm, confident joy.
Close your eyes, take a breath and imagine it……
Coaching you to get to that place is my superpower.
Contact me here and schedule a consult to see how we can work together to reclaim your power.
Holding tight to our expectations of others behavior steals us of our joy.
xoxo
Sheila