overthinking

Although there is some evidence that suggests women are more likely to be overthinkers than men, the truth is, everyone overthinks sometimes.

Overthinking is a very common issue that comes up often in a coaching session.  People often say things like, “I can’t relax, It’s like my brain won’t shut off,” or “I can’t stop thinking about how my life could have been better if I’d done things differently.”

The link between overthinking and mental health issues is a chicken-or-the-egg type question.  Overthinking is linked to psychological issues, like depression and anxiety.  It’s likely that overthinking causes mental health to decline and as your mental health declines, the more likely you are to overthink.  It’s a vicious downward spiral.

The problem is that when you’re caught in the spiral, it’s hard to recognize that you’re in it.  Your brain might actually try to convince you that worrying and ruminating is helpful.  After all, won’t you develop a better solution or prevent yourself from making the same mistake if you spend more time thinking?  Not necessarily.

In fact, the opposite is often true.  Analysis paralysis is a real problem.  The more you think, the worse you feel.  Your feelings of misery, anxiety, or anger may cloud your judgement and prevent you from taking positive action.

Two Forms of Overthinking

Overthinking comes in two forms; ruminating about the past and worrying about the future.  It’s different than problem-solving.  Problem solving involves critical thinking to develop a solution.  Overthinking involves dwelling on the problem.  Overthinking is also different than self-reflection.  Healthy self-reflection is about learning something about yourself or gaining a new perspective about a situation.  It is non-judgemental (one of the foundations of mindfulness).  Self-reflection is purposeful.

 Overthinking involves dwelling on how bad you feel and thinking about all the things you have no control over. It won't help you develop new insight.

The difference between problem-solving, self-reflection, and overthinking isn't about the amount of time you spend in deep thought. Time spent developing creative solutions or learning from your behavior is productive. But time spent overthinking, whether it's 10 minutes or 10 hours, won't enhance your life.

Signs You're an Overthinker

When you become more aware of your tendency to overthink things, you can take steps to change. But first, you have to recognize that overthinking does more harm than good.

Sometimes, people believe that their overthinking somehow prevents bad things from happening. And they think if they don't worry enough or rehash the past enough then somehow, they'll encounter more problems. But, the research is pretty clear--overthinking is bad for you and it does nothing to prevent or solve problems.

Here are 10 signs that you're an overthinker:

1.     I relive embarrassing moments in my head repeatedly.

2.     I have trouble sleeping because it feels like my brain won't shut off.

3.     I ask myself a lot of "what if..." questions.

4.     I spend a lot of time thinking about the hidden meaning in things people say or events that happen.

5.     I rehash conversations I had with people in my mind and think about all the things I wished I had or hadn't said.

6.     I constantly relive my mistakes.

7.     When someone says or acts in a way I don't like, I keep replaying it in my mind.

8.     Sometimes I'm not aware of what's going on around me because I'm dwelling on things that happened in the past or worrying about things that might happen in the future.

9.     I spend a lot of time worrying about things I have no control over.

10.  I can't get my mind off my worries.

How to Deal With Overthinking

If you recognize that you tend to get caught up in overthinking, don't despair. You can take steps to reclaim your time, energy, and brain power.

From scheduling time to worry to changing the channel, there are several mental strength exercises that can help you stop overthinking everything.

Awareness of self is an integral part of changing the subconscious habit of overthinking.  Now that you recognize yourself as an overthinker, you have already accomplished step 1.

Now moving into the practice of mindfulness, utilizing all of the tools you’ve learned (meditation, rewiring your brain, daily routines, etc.) will help move you out of overthinking to being present.

This takes patience and practice.  The more you practice being present in your life, practicing mindfulness, the less you will “live” in the past or the future. 

Meditate daily

Breathe before reacting.  Turn that reaction into a thoughtful response.

Change your daily routine in order to rewire your brain.

Practice gratitude

Evaluate your life; your goals, your relationship, your career, your inner self.

Be curious, non attached and non judgemental.

To take a deeper dive into overthinking and more, learn about my 1:1 Coaching Program here

With Love and Joy,

Sheila