Alyssa’s Story
Lessons From My Life Coach:
Why have a life coach? Why commit to coaching?
Well, here’s my why.
I learned that I matter. I matter just as much as my family, my job and my friends. I learned that I deserve the time and attention to work on me. I learned that I can say no and yes on my own terms without worrying about judgement (from myself and others) I can be judged but not let it change how I see myself. I can see myself positively. I can list things that are great about me.
I learned that beating myself up, doubting myself, criticizing myself accomplishes nothing.
I strive towards neutral feelings in hard times. I feel strength in walking away with the
angry words still only in my head. I can handle the anger and hurt without it spilling out in a destructive way. Owning those feelings helps me accept the circumstances. It helps me frame my thoughts- my self-talk. If I can understand and accept myself, I don’t need to work to make my partner/friends/family understand me.
I can manage my nervous system.
Coaching has enabled me to dig deep and find the strength to realize my value. To
realize all the above. Before coaching, the downward spiral into self-depreciation was quick; it happened daily, and sometimes I sat in it for weeks or months at a time.
Do I still go “there” sometimes? Yeah. Sure do. But now I have the tools and the person to remind me that I don’t need to stay in those dark, lonely places.
The value of coaching is realizing that I have value. And valuing myself is where this
started. Committing to it and making me and my time sacred is essential. Investing the time and thought and energy into me ultimately improves my function in all other facets of my life.
The BEST thing about coaching isn’t a thing at all. It’s the WOMEN that I have met.
The women who take up such a spot in my heart and in my brain. The sense of unity and empowerment that I feel and embody because of these amazing women in my life. I literally feel it in my gut, my heart, and my brain. I hear their voices and stories in my head.
Sheila created the space and opportunity for these relationships to blossom and
grow and thrive. It’s become so much of who I am. The love I have for them comes from a deep respect and true sense of trust and loyalty.
I still try to hide from the ugliness I can’t quite rid myself of or from the world around me.
So I hide by not hiding. I do all the things. If I’m busy, if I’m occupied, if I’m DOING IT
ALL it consumes me and I think I feel proud of that. I’m starting to realize that this is
destructive. That’s when I measure my worth with the number of check marks on my to do list. I seek praise, approval, appreciation. As a mom, wife, teacher- I don’t get any of those things on the regular. I keep striving, but I’m not sure for what. Because it’s not a check mark or a present or reward that’s going to bring my fulfillment.
When I sit down with Sheila, for a 1:1 session or in group, we tackle these thoughts and habits. We revisit them, repeatedly. I feel better. I am better. And then there’s another hard thing and it’s hard again.
But coacihng has taught me that that is part of life. I don’t want to hide from that. I
want to accept it and embrace it and navigate it with grace, gratitude, and
shamelessness.
Transitions will always happen. Having a life coach ensures that I am
supported through all the transitions. The big life ones that deal with death and loss, the ones of livelihood and employment, the ones where kids challenge you and bring you joy- make you cry and laugh and angry and proud (sometimes all in one day).
Coaching has brought me a sense of empowerment. Being empowered was a word I
thought belonged to Nobel Prize Winners, war heroes, women politicians and celebrities that worked with communities of women in need.
Turns out- I can feel empowered, too. I make decisions and choices and feel confident in them. I make things happen. I can work with other women to make them happen in ourselves. I jump without looking and land safely. And then I step back at some point and realize, “Wow- I did that. And I’m okay. I’m great.” And then I feel even more empowered.
Empowerment and strength don’t mean always feeling on top. Because
something/someone/myself knocks me down. And I start over. But because of coaching I know I have the tools to feel the lows and climb back up quicker. Sitting in that low spot is uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as it used to be.
I have worked hard to develop the tools that support my growth. I am smart. I am
intuitive. I take chances. And even when I doubt myself, I’ve got the best cheerleader in my corner… sometimes next to me holding my hand, sometimes in front of me leading the way, and sometimes behind me giving a shove.
I call her my life coach.
I hope my story of coaching has resonated with you. You can learn these tools too.
Call Sheila. Join our coaching community. It really will change your life.
Love,
Alyssa
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