There is always a choice

Ever feel like everything is out of your control and you’re just living day to day, or hour to hour, getting things done, taking care of everyone and everything, barely able to catch your breath? Yeah, you’re not alone. While you’re doing all the things, your own plans and dreams are taking a back seat.

While this blog won’t bring you to Nirvana, or even take care of all your plans and dreams, it will bring you a step closer to feeling some control while life continues to go on and on.

We have a choice. Always. We have a choice about what we attend to; where our attention is directed. If you think about what you most often pay attention to, the answers that come to mind may include many external things and people. Things that are loudest; kids, partners, aging parents, jobs, financial concerns, often get the bulk of our attention. They are loud both externally and inside of our own heads. Often what we pay attention is only in our heads. All those thoughts about things that happened in the past or things we imagine will happen in the future. Those things are not reality, they are not actually occurring in the present. You can choose to move your attention to what is actually happening in the present whenever you become aware of this overthinking mind.

We don’t pay attention to our own internal compass as often as we could. For example, we don’t really pay attention to our breath. We know we are breathing but we don’t think about it. We don’t pay alot of attention to the sounds around us that are constant; the ticking of the clock, the sound of the fan. We often are not even attending to our own bodily sensations until they are screaming at us. That tightness in your shoulders, the clenched jaw, the tightness in your belly.

I invite you, to pay attention. To intentionally choose, in the moment, to pay attention. In Mindfulness, we pay attention to something called an anchor. We use the breath, sounds, and sensations in the body as these anchors.

Next time you become aware that something is screaming for your attention, intentionally choose, just for a moment, to redirect your attention to your breath. Or sounds around you. Or how your body feels. Take a deep breath, notice the clock, notice the tightness in your body. Spend a moment there. Then, with chosen intention, return to whatever it is that you may need to attend to.

This moment to moment awareness that you have a choice of where you attention is directed is part of the practice of mindfulness.

Practice this, over and over. Our brains are amazing things. They are pliable and can be changed. The term for this is neuroplasticity. What you practice becomes stronger. Practice making a choice of what to pay attention to. Your brain will make new neural pathways and the concentrated attention will become stronger.

If you’re searching for a way to manage your stress, mindfulness is an amazing tool. If you can manage your thoughts and emotions, you can manage your stress. Remember that life is 50/50, half of the time is spent in a negative emotion and half in a positive emotion. That is the balance. We are not erasing negative emotion, we are managing our thoughts and emotions to reduce stress. Paying attention, on purpose, is one way to do this.

Try it for a while and let me know about your experience.

Love,

Sheila

For more information about how to work with me to reduce stress, manage your mind, and embrace change, learn more here.