From a young age, I always assumed I would become a nurse, get married and have four kids. I honestly can’t even remember when I was first aware of this fact, yet it seemed immutable early on. After graduating from college with a degree in social work, I got accepted to a joint MSW/JD Program, but I instead decided to get married and start my family. This was the future I had laid out in my head. I had three kids with my first husband.

I didn’t find the satisfaction I expected, however. In fact, every time I got something I thought I wanted, I felt less and less happy. I must try again. 

A divorce, a new career, a new relationship, and even more beautiful children that called me mom. When my youngest was two, I got another masters degree because I was bored.

I was still hopping from lily pad to lily pad. I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that I should have “more”.

I should be more excited in my life. Shouldn’t I?

Looking for something to scratch my itch for change, a friend had suggested I start offering 1:1 therapy. After all, my entire professional life to date was in social work - and I had helped thousands of people cope with stress in their lives. I joke that I have “social worker” tattooed across my face, because my entire life, people have opened up to me. I’d been avoiding 1:1 therapy for my entire career because I thought it would be boring (and we can’t have that, now can we?). But I decided to give it a go. 

Turns out it wasn’t boring. Quite the opposite in fact. I found purpose in my ability to help adults navigate changes (usually divorce) in a way that didn’t adversely affect their kids. Having seen the devastating effects of my husband’s ex alienating their kids and having been through divorce myself, I was able to put my life experience (a veritable masters degree in change) to good use. I was feeling content in my career and facilitating positive outcomes for my clients.

It wasn’t until I attended a mindfulness meditation training a few years into my practice that all the pieces came together for me. I finally learned the missing piece in my embrace of change. It was here that I found the joy. 

I had landed on my last lily pad.

I realized I’d been seeking happiness from external sources. Waiting for everything and everyone around me to bring me joy. The pursuit of the letters after my name, checking boxes for the sake of checking them… it was all external. I learned that when your whole sense of worthiness comes from an external place, you will always feel unworthy. When you truly believe in yourself, the rest doesn’t matter. When you are no longer defined by your circumstances, you can define your own joyful reality. 

Learning how to truly live in the present has led me to find the joy in my life. I started focusing more on “being” instead of “doing”. The present instead of the future. I learned how to find the courage to create the changes I truly wanted, not the ones society had laid out for me. It is this work that I am honored to lead my clients through on a daily basis.

My approach is holistic. It’s a mix of coaching, therapy and everything I’ve learned in my life to date. The modality doesn’t matter for me, they’re all just tools in my tool belt. My clients are all in different stages of life, from different walks of life. A cop in his 30s who brings his 4 year old to our appointments. A 45 year old woman struggling with her choice of mate. A 76 year old man whose wife quite literally went out for milk and never returned. The commonality among them? Change. Seeking change, avoiding change, experiencing change. And I help them find the joy in it. 

”You are the sky, everything else is weather”
-Pema Chodron

The sky doesn’t change who it is at its core, it’s always present. Joy can only be found in the present. Let’s find it together. 

With Love and Joy,
Sheila